You’ve spent months choosing your venue, wedding dress, reception menu, photographer…the list goes on and on! Now you’re ready to address your invitations and pop them in the mail – and cross another item off your to do list. Whoa! Back up there, bride. There are a few things you need to review before addressing your invitations.
If you're still deciding on which invitations to order, check out our You are Cordially Invited to Start Ordering Wedding Invitations article! We have a variety of different colors and designs for you to choose from and personalize.
Addressing the Envelopes Whether you're handing off the work to a calligrapher or doing it yourself, you’ll need to decide how to address your envelopes. There are also easy ways to jazz up your envelopes. For example, something as simple as these DIY Watercolor Envelope Liners could really spice up your invites! Don't forget to get a personalized stamper to stamp each envelope with your initials. Keep the following etiquette in mind:
Married Couple Outer Envelope:
- Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith or
- Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Inner Envelope:
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith or
- John and Jane
Married Couple with Different Last Names Outer Envelope:
- Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Williams
Inner Envelope:
- Mr. Smith and Mrs. Williams or
- John and Jane
Unmarried Couple Living Together Outer Envelope (each name on a separate line as shown):
- John Smith Ms. Jane Williams
Inner Envelope (each name on a separate line as shown):
- Mr. Smith Ms. Williams
Same-Sex Couple Outer Envelope:
- Ms. Ann Smith and Ms. Jane Williams or
- Ann Smith and Jane Williams
Inner Envelope:
- Ms. Smith and Ms. Williams or
- Ann and Jane
A Married Woman Doctor or Two Married Doctors Outer Envelope (if woman uses her maiden name both professionally and socially):
- Dr. Jane Wiliams and Mr. John Smith
If she uses her husband’s name socially, outer envelope should read:
- Dr. Jane and Mr. John Smith
If both parties are doctors, the outer envelope should read:
- Doctors Jane and John Smith
Inner Envelope:
- Dr. Williams and Mr. Smith (if she uses a different last name) or
- Dr. and Mr. Smith (if she uses same last name socially) or
- The Doctors Smith (if both are doctors)
Other Distinguished Titles Use the same rules you use for doctors for judges, military personnel, reverends and so on. If both titles don’t fit on one line, use a second line, but indent it. Outer Envelope Examples:
- The Honorable Jane Smith and Lieutenant John Smith, US Air Force
- Captains Jane and John Smith, US Air Force
Inner Envelope Examples:
- Judge Smith and Lieutenant Smith, US Air Force
- The Captains Smith
Children and Plus Ones Include children (by name) on the inner envelope of their parents’ invitation. Girls under 18 should be addressed as Miss. Boys under 18 do not need a title. If children are over 18, they should receive their own invitation, unless they live with their parents. Inner Envelope Example (children listed on a separate line as shown below):
- Mr. and Mrs. John Smith Thomas, Scott, Miss Catherine and Miss Jennifer
Plus Ones Address the outer envelope to your guest, but include “and Guest” on the inner envelope. Obviously if you know the guest’s name, you can use it instead of “and Guest”! Usually these are included with Wedding RSVP Cards like these Personalized Two Hearts Response Cards. Ok, now that you know how to address the invitations, it's time to assemble them. Assembling the Invitation Suite Sometimes your stationer will assemble your invitations (also known as your wedding invitation suite). If not, don’t feel like you have to tackle this job on your own – ask your bridal party or family to help. So you just shove them all in envelopes, right?! Sorry, no. There actually is an order in which you should place all of the invitation components:
- Start with the invitation, text facing up. If you are using tissue paper, place it on top of the invitation. (A word about tissue paper: While it may add expense to your stationery suite, it’s worth considering. Not only does it look nice, it prevents the ink on the invitations from smudging.)
- Add the reception card to the stack, also face-up. Place tissue paper on top.
- Stack the remaining enclosures on top of the invitation in order of largest to smallest (with the largest on the bottom of the pile). All pieces should have the text facing up, and have tissue paper between each (if you are using it).
- If your invitation is folded, the enclosure pile will go inside the fold.
- Tuck the RSVP card into flap of the reply envelope so the flap covers part of the text.
- Place everything inside the inner envelope so the text is facing outward (you will see text when you open the flap).
- Put the unsealed inner envelope inside the outer envelope with the guests' names facing outward.
Whew! Now you’re ready for postage.
Choosing Postage You’ll need to weigh a fully assembled envelope at the post office to determine the exact postage amount. You can add the correct amount of postage by using multiple stamps, by mixing and matching stamps, or with customizable stamps available online or designed by your stationer. Hand-Canceling Your Invitations Invitations that are run through processing machines at the post office can come out looking less than pristine. Want to keep them neat and clean? Of course you do! Call ahead to the post office to see if your invitations can be hand-canceled. You might even be given the stamp so you can do it yourself in the post office. There is usually no charge for this.
You’re up to speed on mailing your wedding invitations, but have you planned your rehearsal dinner or looked at wedding cakes? And if you think you want to use a calligrapher for your invitations and wedding signage, find one now! Keep planning, bride! You only have five months until your wedding day!
Follow our Month-by-Month Wedding Planning Guide for more tips for every phase of your planning process.
Article written by: Heather Clark
